settled?

when does one feel "settled"?

today i went to carrie's baby shower. it was really fun - second baby shower i've ever been to! her friends did a lovely job of decorating and making everything adorable. the food was excellent as well and the conversation was good.

what does this have to do with feeling "settled" you ask? i'm not quite sure.....

even though i had such a great time i left the shower feeling slightly off. reflective perhaps. in a zone. do you know what i mean? chris picked up on it right away when i got home - saying that women always seem to act that way after being in a large group together. it's not always a bad 'off' just off. reflective....

the shower was at carrie's friend laurie's home - it was beautiful. but it was a home. a house. she was married with a child and another on the way. everything seemed so well put together. a place for everything and everything in it's place.

there were also a few babies there. all very cute and adorable! little blankets. little clothes. and well - it was a baby shower after all - all the baby stuff! there were 2 people - including me - that did not have or were not in the process of having babies. it made for the guessing the price of certain baby items (ala The Price is Right) rather difficult (ah yes! i believe i just bought that feeding set last week...now how much did that cost?) but it was still fun.

i don't know where i'm going with all this really. like i said i'm off...reflective and just trying to understand why - or be able to get it out in a coherent way - ya know? if only i could write like molly...

i am extremely happy where i'm at - i don't mean to convey otherwise. i just don't feel "settled"

i know that having a home doesn't make that go away. having a baby doesn't do it either. in fact i'm sure they can do the exact opposite. i just wonder sometimes if i'm letting days slip by without notice waiting for that "settled" feeling to happen. waiting. like "settled" will just one day knock at my door and say 'Here I am!'

hmph.

perhaps i'm just feelings a tinge of jealousy for the home owners. the mothers. the mothers-to-be. the married women. the "settled" life.

do you feel "settled"?

Please just #@&% off......

i'm very crabby at the present moment and hope that by blogging about it i'll calm down before company arrives.....

like most people i have a check book. unlike most people my checks only have my name and under that it says 'DO NOT ACCEPT WITHOUT PHOTO I.D.'

great idea, right? most people never notice it. in fact - i've had people ask me what it means - excuse me? what? sigh.....

tonight i used my check to make a car payment. i wrote down my account number and pulled up to the drive-thru. i placed my check in the carrier and sent it away. the carrier came back with nothing in it. i asked for my reciept. the condescending prick of a teller told me i needed to show my photo ID. wow - someone noticed! unfortunately his attitude pissed me off and even though i had my photo ID i told him he did not need it.....

why you ask?

last month i had chris make my car payment for me. i gave him my check and wrote the account number on it just like today. he went to the bank and got static from the teller. he asked for the manager and he said 'it's just fine - we'll take it' and proceeded to tell the teller the same. i wasn't upset about this. it was a check with my name making a payment into an account that also bore my name. problem? no. not like he was trying to make a withdrawl or get cash back.

so i explained this to the teller and asked for his manager. his manager wouldn't take it! now i know you're probably all thinking - and with good reason - that he was just following my written orders. but it was just irritating. i wasn't trying to get money. i was making a payment for christ's sake! the check and account names matched!

so i'm just plain pissed. pissed that they would take my check from my boyfriend but not me! does that make sense? i'm also pissed becuase i've made my car payment this way - w/out photo ID for as long as i've had my car and it's never been an issue!

in the end i'll make my payment tomorrow. argh. me and my temper. i'm turning into my dad more and more every day......

i don't expect anyone to agree with me here - i over reacted but i was running late and just plain pissed at the guys attitude and at their managements wishy washy policy enforcement.

so piss off wells fargo.

27

for lack of exciting things to post about (see previous blog - l-a-m-e) i'm going to copy miss molly's blog idea (well - she borrowed from this person). she just turned 28 (HAPPY BIRTHDAY!) yesterday and so posted 28 not well known facts about herself. i turned 27 a few weeks ago and will now proceed to tell you 27 things about myself. i'll try to make them 'not well known' facts but since i'm a talker you might have heard a lot of 'em......

oh - the above picture was taken last year (august 29th to be exact). the face i'm making goes along with the previous blog 'You want me to WHA?'

alrighty then......

27. i absolutely love love love music. the emotions it brings forth, the places it takes you, the memories it revives - it absolutely astounds me. i'd love to have a soundtrack to my life. if i ever make you a mix cd - know that a lot of thought went into it. music is personnal for me. it expresses things that perhaps i would otherwise be unable to. yeah - i just love it dearly.

26. i bite my nails. everyone tells me to stop and i think at one point i tried to. now i don't care. if there is a little hint of nail it gets bitten. i also bite my lips. chris is always trying to stop me from doing this. so far he's had no luck. sometimes i'm not even fully aware i'm doing it. it only gets dangerous if i've just been to the dentist and my mouth is numb....ow.....

25. i've been yearning to have a sleepover. all girls. junk food. cheesey movies. fun music. girl talk. games. the works. it might end up being lame since we're not all 8 anymore. but until proven wrong i think it sounds super fun. (could be influenced by the fact that 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' is playing....)

24. i have some ocd tendencies. for insistence - i'm rather fixated with the number 6. i like how the 'ix' sounds when you speak it. i also only set the alarm or microwave to numbers ending in 6. 1:06 - 26- 36 etc.

23. i - unlike molly - have had many cavaties in my life. my mouth is silver.

22. is my luck number. especially a red 22. reasons? they are rather lame and i came up with them when i was little: i was 22 inches long at birth. i was born on the 22nd. king tut (whom i was obsessed with growing up) was 'discovered' in 1922. the alto saxaphone (which i played) has 22 keys. i told you it was lame....

i took a break from this to crochet. and by break i mean...oh...4.5 hours. do they have support groups for this?

i'll continue the 27 fact countdown tomorrow - provided i'm not lost in my yarn.

You want me to WHA?

5,000 envelopes.

5,000!



i know i shouldn't complain considering i really never have work to do but i can complain and so i am. the one time i want to get a project (crochet) finished and now this. poop.

let the counting for day 2 continue.

586

587

589

590

591

Mother's Little Helper

not exactly sure what they are but i'm sure i could put them to use....

i've always known i have some light ocd tendencies and sometimes it's good. at other times it's annoying. today it was just draining.

i'm working on a crochet project. i noticed the border wasn't even. i undid a few hours worth of work. then i realized that i could just start the whole thing over and make it even better and that i did. so i lost 2.5 days worth of work. i'll be much happier with the end product but it's still just draining - ya know?

now if only i could put this much effort into something like my career (or lack) thereof - but i don't call myself the perfectionist receptionist for nothing.

hmph.

Rockin' Socks.....

2

3

6

24

25

237

238

518

stuffing envelopes for hours on end just rocks my socks off!

522

523

524

525

526

today

i got up.

i "worked"

i crocheted - a lot.



it's late and i got nothing. sorry.