saturdays = ...............

saturdays =


shit - i woke up too late - but not shit becuase i finally got to sleep in....


crap - i need to exercise badly but have zero energy and zero willpower and would rather stare at the t.v. and be depressed about the state of humanity based on 'bret michael's - rock of love'


okay - getting motivated. paid rent (well - dropped of chris's check for rent). paid cable bill. charged ipod. must start to clean............




i love weekends but often find that without concrete deadlines i'm worthless. when i know i have the whole day to do things - they probably won't get done. i'll wait until the last minute and then start to panick that i didn't get anything done. sigh....
so starting now (even though - yes - it is 1pm - better late than never, right?) i'm going to clean. must clean. if time is left over i'll exercise. then i must finish hat orders. ipod is charged up and ready to go....

Bone Broke

as you may have gathered from the previous post i am not in the best of moods. i'm extremely frustrated.

frustrated because....

- i did what i was supposed to, right? i went to college. i earned a degree. i got a full time job with benefits. but after all my bills are payed each month i have basically nothing left over for food or gas.

- i haven't been able to help chris out with the rent. it makes me feel awful. i feel like a huge mooch.

- banks charge me $68.00 dollars for a measly $10.00 'oops adventure' into the negative.

- i just realized that i pay almost a hundred dollars in interest per car payment. wtf??

- i have to start a 401k and an IRA - but with what exactly i'm not sure....

- my paychecks are basically gone the day i get them.

- my mouth is falling apart and insurance will only cover half the costs. granted it's half and i'm thankful but i cannot afford the other half.

- my phone is dying. i need a new one. too bad my money tree died.

it's just so damn irritating. and the whole crap of it is is that i was just coming to terms with it. fine. i'll have debt. at least i'm happy. i have a great family and friends and with them i'll never end up homeless. but this whole taking almost seventy fucking dollars out of my account just pushed me over. i needed that to pay bills. needed it.

i have a car payment each month. i have insurance on that car. i have my own insurance. i have a credit card payment (which i had to get in the first place becuase i couldn't afford to pay my car insurance while i was looking for a job). i have a computer payment. and yes - after this i have about $30 left over. $30 to buy gas, groceries, and oh yeah - start that 401K and IRA with. seriously....

how the crap am i ever going to be able to afford a house. a wedding. a baby. - hell - food. gas.

i need to make more money. i need to look for a job that pays more money. but oh yeah - can't fit into the my interview clothes yet! and oh yeah - can't buy more interviews clothes that fit becuase i'm fucking broke.

piss it.