updates

the apartment:
it's coming together. we've hung a few things. the second bedroom is still a disaster. i have so many ideas on how it could look better but have no money to buy the things to make it so. it's hard not being able to get what you want rightnow. kari and mark are going to visit this summer - hopefully there'll be enough room for them to sleep in there by then.


my mental state:
i'm far less crabby today. in fact - i'd go so far as to say i'm not crabby at all! (period going away = happy michelle) slightly frustrated with myself for not completely a workout dvd but the squats and lunges i did yesterday have made my thighs want to run away and hide....


christopher:
still amazing. still incredibly awesome. still love him an insane amount. still amazed that he loves me (and all my craziness)!


my job:
see previous post. nuff said.


crocheting/knitting projects:
i think i mentioned that i finally finished all of my christmas presents(!!!!!) i even finished the two burp clothes for my co-workers baby! now i just have to manage actually getting those things in the mail/delivered (this is the part where i usually fail). i am desperately trying to find a cute way to organize my yarn - having it neatly stored but yet visable (ideas? i'm thinking crates....)


my fat:
still (annoyingly) here. i'm working hard to make it go away though. according to the scale at work i'm down one pound. only 34 more to go......


minerva:
suprisingly more likable. as soon as i wrote that post about her she changed her tune. she will now tolerate you getting close(er) to her face and petting her. she has even taken to sleeping right by my head and also jumping into the sink whenever i'm in the bathroom doing anything in front of the mirror - kinda cute.


albus:
he's still incredibly strange. lick. lick. lick. lick. lick. lick. lick. lick. lick - you get the picture.


my hair:
it's getting long - but not cute long. it's that inbetween stage - neither long nor short. it's driving me insane and i desperately want to cut it but i'll give it a go until the end of may.


my stomach:
not hungry but chris is making dinner so i think i'll go chat with him :)

day 2 of hell.

day 2 of hell and i'm still here. i feel a ton better although due to reasons that i won't go into (i'm not that disgusting) i didn't do much today.
i ate ice-cream for breakfast. (yum!) i made an emergency trip to Target to pick up cat litter supplies as the cats destroyed and/or made a mess of their current ones. made another trip later in the day to get even more stuff. we got the wrong litter on one of our last trips and it does not clump the pee - disgusting and SO smelly! so we got the right stuff along with a plug-in air freshner for the bathroom (thank god!). i bought a lot of Valetine's day 50% off items - my favorite being these red heart shower curtain hooks. they add the finishing touches to my bathroom that has a yellow (cheap plastic because the kitties will claw it) shower curtain and red bath mat :) i also got the cats a new Easter placemat for the food bowls along with 2 Easter food dishes. i know they could care less but I love doing it and the stuff is only a $1.99 - how can i not?
aside from spending too much money at Target i finished the second bear! (i'll have these christmas - yes christmas - gifts in the mail by Tuesday! wahoo!! i'll post pictures then :)) other than that - not a whole lot. very relaxing.
and now it's time to go whoop chris's butt in cribbage. (don't be too jealous of all the excitement in my life now....)

one more thing....

(i got this via e-mail from kelly)




This an actual letter sent to Proctor and Gamble from Wendi Aarons, Austin, TX, regarding their feminine products. She really gets rolling after the first paragraph...




Dear Mr. Thatcher,


I have been a loyal user of your Always Maxi Pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the Leak GuardCore(tm) or Dri-Weave(tm) absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowingthere's a little F-16 in my pants.

Have you ever had a period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from "the curse"? I'm guessing you haven't.

Well, my "time of the month" is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call "an inbred hillbilly with knife skills."

As Brand Manager in the Feminine-hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers' monthly visits from "Aunt Flo". Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women.

The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... which brings me to the reason for my letter.

Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: "Have a Happy Period."

Are you f__king kidding me? Does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness – actual smiling, laughing happiness is possible during a period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be anything "happy" about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Kmart armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.

For the love of God, if you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like "Put Down the Hammer" or "Vehicular Manslaughter Is Wrong", or are you just picking on us?

Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescendingbull s__t. And that's a promise I will keep.


Always.
Best,


Wendi Aarons Austin, TX

because i deserve it - that's why!

days like today are days when i have major penis envy. today is a day when i'm positive that god is not of the female gender. today is a day when i'd rather be in labor - at least afterwards i'd have something to show for my pain and suffering. today i got my period. it sucked. a lot. a ton.

if you don't care to hear blunt blabber about 'that time of the month' then i suggest you go read someone else's blog. now. go!

still here?

alright then. so yes - periods suck ass. i understand their purpose - great. fine. whatever. there is a part of me (though it shrinks to the size of a pinhead this time of the month) that appreciates the whole process. that being said.....

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH(breathe)HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

today sucked. i feel like i should be used to this by now. they've always been this bad. they've always been this long (six days in case you were wondering. SIX. that's right. six. six days of hell.). i'll never get used to it though. and while some (perhaps one in 40) are better than others - today was not one of those days.

my hips hurt. my back hurt. my thighs hurt. my stomach hurt - and was also incredibly sick at the same time. my whole upper body felt like it was going numb. i was light headed. i kind of sort of wanted to rip out my insides. or die. or eat a shitload of ice cream. and i did. chris got me not one but two pints of Maggie Moo's ice-cream.

that's right. the weight loss challange ends in 2 weeks and i have 2 pints of ice-cream in my fridge. screw weight watchers. screw the male gender*. please - men get the sniffles and it's all 'oh god i'm gonna die!' ha! come back and talk to me after you feel like someone has taken out your insides - mashed and beaten them to a bloody pile, rolled them out and started to twist them until they dry - oh and don't forget the 50 knives that are getting stabbed into them the whole entire time that's going on. then you come back and talk to me about pain. you bleed for a week and then come and whine to me. and that goes to you women out there. you know who i'm talking about. the ones with the 3 day periods. the ones who've never experienced an actual cramp in your life. but don't be too mad - i don't really hate you. the opposite in fact. i'm so jealous of you - but at this moment i choose to hate you - yes.

i mean honestly. i've been going through this since i was in junior high! and i'll continue to go through it. then i'll get to push a 5 to 10 pound human being out! what i ask you - do the men have to go through? their voices change. they might get excited at awkward moments. big deal. and to top it off - they can pee wherever they want! pisha.

ugh. 3 midol and 4 advil later i feel slightly normal - if not slightly high from the over medication. i'm going to go eat some ice cream.

sorry if i scared anyone. not all my posts are like this. and i'm sorry if this was too blunt for you mother :) but i know you know where i'm coming from. ugh. ugh. ugh. ugh......

*minus chris. he has been so kind. so thoughtful. so incredibly patient. thank you sweetheart!