stupid *%$#@&.....

today i worked on being calm. not getting all pissed off at the hordes of moronic people that i encounter. it was going pretty gosh darn good. i even began to exercise! i got one round on the treadmill complete and ran upstairs to throw the clothes from the washer into the dryer. i realized that i had left my card in the machine but was relieved to see it was still there. i hauled the clothes to the dryer and stuck my card in. ERR. what? stuck it in again. ERR. wtf? seriously...chris just put money on it this morning. ERR. perhaps leaving in the machine fucked it up. or perhaps the person who started their laundry after switched cards - the one i have now doesn't look like our old one...but i could be wrong. i'm going with the latter version of events since i'm cynical and would rather blame someone else for having an entire basket full of wet clothes and absolutely no place to hang them that isn't covered in cat hair.

p.s. i asked two people that i encountered in the hallway if i could borrow their card for a load and give them money tomorrow. they said that don't use the machines here. bullshit. so i suppose it's just me. oh - and that lady who decides to do eight hundred loads of laundry in one night. or the lady who finds it necessary to take one item (i shit you not..including one sock) shake it out - walk it over the dryer and put it in. she repeats this process for every single article in her washer - not caring that you're standing there waiting for the machine....

if only....

i could say this to some people.......

yet another rant....

that whole theory of natural selection is completely bogus. technology and lawsuits have prevented nature from taking it's course. instead of dying off stupid people are breading en masse - creating more stupid people.


don't believe me? sit with me at my job for a day. sit with kari at her job for a day. stupid people are everywhere and something really needs to be done about it before i completely lose my mind. i've never had much patience and now i'm bordering on having none. hiding that look of disgust is getting harder and harder with each passing day.

Fixing a Hole

okay. i'm not really fixing a hole. it was just the song that was playing as i signed in to my blog. and it made me feel a little better. which is a good thing.


i really have no idea why i am so cranky today. it's like a switch flipped this morning and BAM - crankiness.


didn't want to go to work. didn't want to see/speak to/deal with/work for/be around people. at all. when i got off work i made myself work out. i figured it would help. it did until it got interrupted by some other girl who thought that it was her turn to use the eliptical. sorry no. my turn. so i went to the grocery store to get a few things we needed. lately they've gotten rid of those handy little baskets. (damn you CUB) i didn't want to push around a whole cart for the few items i was getting. little did i realize that i'd have to stand there juggling 3 packages of crackers, 2 juice bottles, and a tub of sherbert waiting for a bunch of morons to figure out how to use the self check out. it's not that hard. and if you cannot do it then save the sanity of the rest of us and use the regular check out. ah! at that point i found it hard to hide the look of disgust on my face and probably pissed a few people off with my 'look.' like i care. piss off.


it's just one of those days. one of those days where you really could care less if you're being a whiny brat. really could care less if someone out there has it worse off than you. all you care about is the fact that you're pissy and would just like everyone to get out of your way or disapear. ya know? sigh...


i'm trying to perk up and 'fix that hole' but it's really hard. i'm going to go do the eliptical now that it's free. perhaps that'll help. if not i'm just going to make myself a strong drink and watch 'true life' on mtv. hmph.


(oh - the whole day wasn't bad. i did get to talk to carrie. that was good. i miss her though. perhaps chris will want to make the drive up there next weekend)


hope your day was better.

Warning: I'm cranky

that's right. you've been warned. read at will.

i'm cranky.

i feel incompetent at my job. i feel incompetent at life.

my job is insanely easy. it requires no great amount of brain activity and yet i feel like a moron.

(i swear to god, joseph, mary, and josephine that i'm going to shake that man. the man sitting across the way operating the t.v. - that really should not be on. it's not coming in clearly. it's fuzzy. it's making loud fuzzy noises. turn it off. if you are that desperate to watch "judge moron" than please go home and do it becuase if you don't i'm going to scream. in your ear.)

it took me a long time to understand the concept of 'leave your problems at the door.' i'm not saying it's an excuse but depression can make that lesson harder to learn. but i'm doing good. i'm cranky as all get out at the moment but if someone comes to the desk i'll smile and be polite. it's my job. sometimes i falter - we all do. sometimes you vent to the wrong person. a person who means well but that doesn't understand that i'm venting. if i felt it were a big enough deal to bring to someone else's attention i would do so. ya know?

whatever - i'm over it - it happens. no harm done.

i understand that other people may be in the same place as me - having no clue what the fuck is going on. if you're in the position - tell me. level with me. we can both be in the same boat. but if you do know what's going on then act like it. and for heaven's sake pick up a freaking mirror and brush. when you deal with the public you should not look like you've just let 10 mice run rabid in your hair.

i'm cranky as well about non-work related things. i'm cranky that i've gained back all the weight i'd lost. my pants don't fit. i know what i have to do to fix it but i also have 8 million other things to do. but none of them seem important. finishing gifts, baking, unpacking and mailing cards seem trivial. people have bigger problems than me. people have lost loved ones. people are about to bring another human life into the world. and i'm sitting here crabbing on about not having enough brain power to balance gifts, cards, exercise, and an easy peasy job.

but then i just get even more crabby/down on yourself about feeling bad about that. guilty for feeling cranky about being down on yourself and on and on and on.

depression comes and goes. it will pass soon. i know. but in the meantime all i want to do is just go home and crawl under the covers and sleep until it does. becuase if i get any criticism - no matter how constructive (i've never handled it well), any cross eyed looks, anymore beyond-dumb questions i just might cry. or run away.

times like this i wish i were 2 and it was more acceptable for me to stomp my feet on the ground, throw my fists in the air and scream. unfortunately i'm 27.....

The "Makes-Me-Want-To-Shower" Man

you know what i'm talking about.

every once in awhile you encounter that one person that just leaves you feeling slimy. like you have gross dirty tub scum film stuck all over you. like you need to shower...NOW!

if you're lucky it's only a one time thing. if you're not (me) this person continues to show up - week after week. they have to as part of their job. they do not - however - have to talk to you each time. they do not have to keep telling you they're there in case your relationship doesn't pan out. they do not have to sing "michelle ma belle" each and every time they pass.

ya know? ish. icky. nasty. gross.:[[shivers]]:




In other news:

I may have mentioned awhile ago that my parents took in a renter. It was wierd. She was wierd. She was rude. She had no manners. It was awkward. She refused to help around the house. She helped herself when she should not have. She finished other people's puzzles. She ignored repeated requests to help out with the shoveling. She backed into the deck rail and broke it and said nothing!

But...(drumroll please!)

SHE'S GONE!

Mom kicked her out (GO MOM!)!

I doubt she'll ever find this little blog of mine - but even if she did - who cares. She should know what an inconsiderate little terd she was. She took advantage of my parents hospitality and I'm glad she's gone :)

So...in the words of dear family friend - 'YOU ROCK MOM! YOU GO GIRL'!

Exactly!

today is just one of those days. bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh bleh.....

the kind where the dumbest little things want to make you pull your hair out and spit. or cock your head sideways and stick out your tongue at someone.....either way....

reasons....

a company this large should have a computer server that functions at a pace faster than roadkill.

i've said it once and i'll say it again - christmas is just that - Christmas. Chanukah is Chanukah. etc. etc. when you have window decorations that have a penguin dressed in a santa hat with a red and white scarf and a candy cane it should be called a CHRISTMAS decoration and not a "holiday" decoration. i know not one Jewish person who would use this decor to celebrate Chanukah. i also do not know one Jewish person who is offended that we call that decorated pine tree a Christmas tree instead of a "holiday" tree. i'm all for making people feel included but that's just plain dumb, am i wrong? say 'Happy Holiday's!' to people - that's great! but call the damn decorations what they are for crying out loud.

i cannot stand people who do not flush the toilet when they're done. if you can't flush it then don't use the damn toilet. go outside in the bush.

woman - you do not come with a penis and therefore you should not pee on the toilet seat (nor should men but at least i can semi understand it - although seriously - it's NOT a fire hose - control it)! i just do not realize how they do this! if you scared to sit on the seat and spray - have the decency to clean up your mess - or once again - go outside in the bush.

when someone smiles at you and says hi - at least acknowlege them.

if you are dumb enough to use your hair dryer in the tub, reheat your pizza in it's box in your oven, smoke, or use a screwdriver that's on to scratch your nose - you deserve the consequenses and should not be allowed to sue. you're dumb.

if you cannot make a turn going over 5 mph or drive over 20 mph than you should have your driving license taken away.

if you think you're question might be stupid (and trust me - it is) than you should probably wait until after the meeting to ask it so as not to make your co-workers sit and suffer through it as well.

does one city really need 2 stations to play around the clock christmas music? no.

alright - back to work.

p.s. thank for all your kitty litter suggestions :)

Don't Cry Dawson....

i know my haircut looks awful but it'll grow out - i promise....

i hope....(soon...)

a trim. a trim. i went in for a trim and left looking like a not cute version of amelie.

my bangs have been driving me insane the past few weeks. they were so long they were covering my eyes - yet still poking them. i finally went in to get a trim. i told the lady - keep em like they are (rounded down at the sides - not straight across) and to not go above the eyebrow. evidently she didn't hear the 'NOT' they are at least a quarter inch above my eyebrows - which may not seem like a lot but when your talking about a space the size of a forehead it's a mile. they are cut straight across. and did i mention the layering? it's AWFUL!

thank god for headbands! argh.....

it just kinda topped my day i guess. not that i had a particulary bad day. i don't know. it started out very crabby. i got into work and had to deal with morons right off the bat. they come in for classes everyday. i don't know where they come from but for the most part they are all just dumb as rocks - well - i don't want to insult the rocks.....

example:

girl walks in.

she looks right at me.

then she lets her gaze drift over to the waiting room (where there is absolutely no one). she looks extremely confused.

she then decides that since i'm the only actual person around that perhaps she should approach me. she looks at me with face of utter confusion that says 'why i am here?' 'how did i get here?' 'where am i?' 'who am i?'

after a few more seconds of this she finally manages to utter 'i'm here for...ummm...for...a class(?)...i can't think of the name....'

ACK!

day after day after day after day after day they come. they obviously got themselves up. they drove themselves there - or managed to take the bus there - yet they have absolutely no clue why the fuck they're there! really? honestly? how fucking dumb are you? i never fails to just boggle my mind - these people drive me up the wall......

sigh....

now i'm crabby again just thinking about having to deal with them all tomorrow. and they're there taking classes that might potentially have an impact on someone's life - i pray it's not mine!

alright. i'm to try and style the bad bangs and get some rest before tomorrow's 'march of the morons'..................

Hello!

Good Morning!

Good Afternoon!

These are just a few of the greetings I say to people as they walk into my place of employment. I say them all with a cheerful tone and a smile on my face :) In return I get..............

That's right - Nothing!

People walk right on by without even so much as looking in my direction to acknowledge that they even heard me! Sometimes they look at me and have the audacity to give me a nasty look!

Yeah - well - same to you old woman!

Sigh - it's not really that big a deal I guess - but come on! How can you completely ignore a person's greeting especially when you've just walked into their building?!

don't ask

if you watch Scrubs - this is funny and makes sense. if you don't watch Scrubs - well - you're lame

had anyone actually come up to me today to ask about my day - this is what they would have seen. okay - they would have seen me and not carla but you get the point....

why?

i don't have enough time to count them....

suffice it to say that today was a very very cranky day (minus the last 4 hours) but i feel better now