Thursday, June 28, 2007

A Solution

When Chris got home last night we talked about my previous blog.

I asked him if he would ever consider taking my last name. He said no - which suprised me at first. Then he explained that he wanted to keep his own name just like I want to keep my own name. He did not expect me to take on his name at all - which is good because I'm not going to. Then I brought up the question of children and what that would do to their last names. For the time being we came up with the solution of giving any boys his name and any girls my name.

Who knows what the future holds or how many times my mind will change during that time but for now I'm satisfied with this.

Oh - we also contemplated combing our last names.

I just asked two of the guys I worked with what they thought of this. One - a guy Chris's age who has 3 children of his own but has never been married said that he would not take his wife's last name and that all of his children have his last name. That he wants that legacy to be passed on.

The other - a guy my age - said he hadn't really considered it but that he wouldn't dismiss it. He also brought up the idea of combining the last names.

Hmmmm....I think I'll go comtemplate this (or other subjects) since I do nothing....

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

The Name Game

For those of you who do not know - I do nothing.

I feel like Hugh Grant's character in 'About a Boy' when he is talking to Rachel Weisz's character and she asks him what he does. And he says - nothing. Now - granted I don't live off a bank account amassed by my father's one-hit-wonder.....but nonetheless I do nothing. I get up and I go to work - and I know you're thinking to yourself 'that's something!' but that is where it ends. Once at work I sit at a desk. Sometimes I read. Sometimes I play solitaire. Sometimes I even get to address birthday cards. But that is all I do and well....seeing as how it doesn't amount to much it's just easier to say I do nothing.

So...that in mind I have a lot of time on my hands to contemplate random things for long periods of time. This is one of those things......

(I am not married. I have never been married. This hasn't stopped me from contemplating the following......)

The Name Game

My name is Michelle M - has been for the past 26 years. I like my name. I would also like to get married one day and this has got me thinking....

What will happen to Michelle M when that day comes?

According to tradition I will take on my husbands name. This name change is meant to signify that a new relationship has begun. By changing my name I am acknowledging my union with my husband.

Aside from the vows that we both take - exactly what does the husband do to acknowledge this new union? According to tradition he gets to keep his name! How easy is that?

I understand the reasoning for this tradition but those reasons are outdated. Last time I checked I am not going to become my husbands property upon marriage. I will be able to buy my own property and do so in my own name. So why have we held onto this tradition?

I had never given it much thought growing up but now that I'm reaching that point where marriage is on the horizon I've been thinking about it a lot. And the more I think about the more irritated I have become. Why has no one questioned this tradition? There are certainly other issues that more urgent but to me this not something to be glossed over.

My name is Michelle M.

While M was certainly handed down generation to generation via this archaic tradition it was not handed to me this way. M is my mother's name. She was not married at the time of my birth nor did she marry my father afterwards. Because of this she was not allowed to post my birth announcement in the local paper - in 1980 (doesn't that just make you angry?)

She still could have given me my father's name. I see it in the paper all the time - couples who are not married (and for the sake of argument are not going to be) and yet the baby almost always has the fathers last name. Aside from the obvious - what contribution did that father make to warrent passing on his name to that child? Sigh...I'm getting sidetracked....

The point I'm trying to make is that we need more options - a new tradition. For instance - what about the husband taking the wife's last name?

I'm serious. I do not offer this as a solution (a fair solution would involve not having to give up both - which some cultures do do) but it's definitely an alternative.

What is wrong with my last name being handed down through the generations? Women bear the children and for the most part - in accordance with other traditions - do most of the why shouldn't that child have her name?

I've brought this up from time to time and have gotten the same reactions - disbelief. Some smile and think it's cute while others flat out laugh and disregard it immediately. This only motivates me more.

I think it's time people start taking this option seriously. I am bothered by the fact that some men think of this as demeaning - to take on the last name of their wife. Why? You are entering into a life long union with the woman you love - what could possibly be demeaning about her name?

I was doing some reading on the internet and came across the story of one man who did take his wife's last name. The comments that were left astounded me!

For example....

"Man has no sack... takes wife's last name."


"a Man would never do that. This guy is a shell of a man beaten down who can stand for nothing."

These comments angered me. I would consider it a lack of balls/dignity to not seriously consider this a viable option. If a man is that threatened by the mere suggestion something is seriously wrong and I think it speaks volumes about how he'll treat his wife in other areas of the relationship.

This is my opinion on the matter. Not a solution but an opinion - and a damn good one if I don't say so myself!

I've only skimmed the surface of this topic but it's one of great interest to me and I intend to research it further. For instance - did you know they make it more difficult and expensive for a man to change his last name? This definitely needs more attention.

So keep your eyes peeled - I'll be back with more. In the meantime I'm curious to know what your thoughts are - especially since most of my readers are married and have gone the traditional route (a decision I'm not attempting to demean!). Thanks!

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Chick Pea

chick pea boberg

i got a text message from my friend Carrie said 'guess what?'

i knew immediately that she was pregnant! :)

we exchanged a few more texts and then some e-mails filled with phrases like 'Eeeeeeeeeee' and lots of 'SO's :) I even resorted to an 'OMG'!

needless to say i am Super excited and well...SO happy for her and steve!

it's strange to think that only 9 months ago we were both working a job neither of us was very into - wondering when things would fall into place - and look at her now! she is married and making movies and having a baby! i must admit that i am jealous!

everywhere i have gone today i see babies and more babies! i never believed in that whole biological clock but now.......

anyhow - i just wanted to share this news :) her sister just gave birth to triplets and now a new little one is on the way! i best take out my knitting needles! :)

Friday, June 1, 2007


mushaboom by feist
(my favorite new song)

Helping the kids out of their coats
Oh wait the babies haven't been born oh
Unpacking the bags and setting up
And planting lilacs and buttercups oh

But in the meantime we've got it hard
Second floor living without a yard
It may be years until the day
My dreams will match up with my pay

Old dirt road,
(mushaboom, mushaboom)
knee deep snow
(mushaboom, mushaboom)
Watching the fire as we grow
(mushaboom, mushaboom)

I got a man to stick it out
And make a home from a rented house oh
And we'll collect the moments one by one
I guess that's how the future's done oh

How many acres, how much light
Tucked in the woods and out of sight
Talk to the neighbours and tip my cap
On a little road barely on the map

Old dirt road,
mushaboom, mushaboom)
knee deep snow
mushaboom, mushaboom)
Watching the fire as we grow,
mushaboom, mushaboom)
(mushaboom, mushaboom)
Old dirt road rambling rose
(mushaboom, mushaboom)
Watching the fire as we grow
(mushaboom, mushaboom)
Well I'm Sold...

i added their song to my profile - check it out. i was just driving home and heard 'sealion' by them on the radio and liked it. so i walked in and checked out their myspace page but they didn't have that song. so i found this one. enjoy.

what else?

have you ever wondered what the transcripts from your thoughts would look like. this is just one of the many random thoughts i've had throughout the day. this one came to me while driving home. think about it next time your driving. all the things you think about in your head - how much you think about. i guess i didn't have to say think about in your head. rather obvious. unless you think in your foot - which is weird. although some people think in the ass - well...not get the point.

see - completely random! what is up with me today?

i feel good. it feels good to get up and go to work each day. my job doesn't involve teaching the children or savings lives - but it suits me just fine for right now. i feel good. i just said that.....

what else?

oh! 'it was 40 years ago today - sgt. pepper told the band to play' that's right - june 1st 1967 saw the release of sgt. pepper!

i had some really good chocolate cake today. must get the recipe for that.

hmmm...i think that's all i got for the moment. chris an i are nattie sitting this weekend so i went over to let her out and while there i borrowed the two seasons of 'boston legal' that they had. love that show! so i'm going to go watch that and eat some dinner.

and i swear i wasn't drunk while writing this entry. just random.