i was going to blog....but....

......i'm super super (yyyaaaawwwwnnnnn) super sleepy and must hurry along to.....zzzzzzzzz.......

can we say BORED?

third post today? yes - i'm bored.


i was just dinking around on facebook and saw that you can add a wedding box application - something more to distract myself with from the things i should be doing :)


if you have facebook and read this let me know - if you don't you should. mindless fun shall be had by all! :)


and with that i'm done posting today. i think sleep is in order....

Story of the Ring (Part 1)

as you probably saw from my 'we're engaged!' post - this is the ring. my beautiful red plastic adjustable ring. i was thrilled to wear it - even if it did confuse people and prompt them to constantly ask me 'where's the diamond??'


even when the ring started leaving a ring of rust on my skin and chris started asking me if i wanted a 'real' ring - i was still in love with it. after a few weeks though i started to reconsider. i knew the plastic one probably wouldn't last the whole year - and while i had been against an engagement ring to start with it was fun having something on your finger to play with and show to people. but what kind of ring?


i knew from the get-go i couldn't go with a diamond. a girl in an anthropology course i took did a lecture on the diamond industry (years before the movie 'blood diamonds' came out) and how it was basically the mafia - i've been morally against them ever since. that and the fact that some people go into SO much debt over a rock...ay yi yi! now i don't mean to diss on those who have diamonds. i have many good friends that have them and respect their choices - i just knew it wasn't for me. so i started searching. i liked the idea of a pearl - very pretty but not something i could wear everyday. so then i started looking around online at antique rings. i didn't plan to buy one online (who knows what kinds of scams there are!) but just wanted to get some ideas....and i discovered white topaz!


same look as a diamond but practically dirt cheap in comparison! chris and i went to one of the big chain jewelry stores (even though their commercials make us throw up a bit in our mouths) just to see if they even had them. no they did not. end of story. i then went to a local jeweler and asked them if they carried any white topaz rings - they said no but immediately followed that with a 'but we would be happy to order the stone for you and customize it!' very nice!


i browsed around and saw a beautiful diamond ring that i (guiltily) loved. it was a round solitaire with little chippy diamonds all around it - all in a white gold setting with a very thin band. perfect! two days later i brought chris in to show him and we asked the jeweler if he could do that setting but with white topaz - he said that he could although he'd have to enlarge it a teensy bit since he couldn't cut the white topaz into such small chips. fine with me! so the ring i'll be getting will look like an almost $5,000 dollar ring but will have only cost an immensely tiny fraction! in fact - the main cost is the white gold and the custom order - the stone itself is very inexpensive. which will be nice if anything every happens to it - which it shouldn't. it's an 8 on the hardness scale and i'm not doing a ton of hard work with my hands (hello - i don't do any work, remember?)


this is an idea of what the ring will look like - although i'll definitely be posting pictures as soon as i get it (about 3 weeks)

so there ya have it - the story of the ring - part 1. i do feel slightly guilty after having gone on to chris about not wanting a ring and then getting one custom made. even more so i feel guilty about perpetuating the whole gotta have a diamond thing. even though i know it's not one people will think it is - i'll just have to advertise it as the great alternative!

deep down though i'm super excited to wear this ring - IT'S SHINY!

oh! i forgot - the first ring - i mentioned how we were pretty sure it wouldn't survive a whole year? well...it broke today! as i was gathering up my bags to leave work it snagged on something and popped right off! needless to say i was super bummed (it was the cherry on top of my already shit-tastic day)! but i found the red rose and plan on super gluing it back on. i'm always gonna keep it even if it's not always on my ring finger :)

Exhale......

this has been my attitude as of late. well...not everything sucks - just the job. but when you spend the majority of your waking hours at that job it does start to seem like everything.

i'm very frustrated. i'm tired of feeling like this. i feel like there is no job out there that i'll be happy at. i seriously feel like i'd hate anything short of being a tour guide (can't find that job) or working in a yarn store or cute knick knack store (fun but pointless and no benefits or good pay). everything out there seems to have that big corporate cloud looming over it and i am so sick to death of corporate bullshit.

seriously - i'm sick to my stomach over it. the company i work for has no fucking clue about anything. since day one i've been responsible for answering questions about a company i don't even fucking work for! and let me tell you (in case you missed it) - i'm sick of it. i answer ZERO questions about the company i work for. ZERO. i hate it. and i can't really even answer the questions becuase i have yet to get an updated phone list from that other company. not that it matters - the customer service number for that company - i constantly get complaints about how they never answer their phones, return calls or plain just don't help! seriously!

and you know what - i no longer care. i've made it a well known fact that i'm looking for another job. i've made it a well known fact that i am not happy having a guard breathe down my neck all fucking day. does anyone notice? care? no - let's just keep on giving michelle mindless tasks! if i'd known i'd be doing shit like this i'd have dropped out of school in the 5th grade. christ!

ugh...sorry. EXHALE....michelle...EXHALE......

i've been looking for another job. i even got called for an interview but couldn't get it as they were only conducting the interviews 8am-5pm (i could make it there at 5) and i can't take time off. i was pretty sick awhile back and so used up those days. i also used up my doctor time as i went ahead and scheduled them all for one day. i also actually like my boss and didn't want to leave her hanging as she's been swamped as it is (not that having me gone would mean shit as there is a guard at my desk.....). so yeah - finding a job when you have one is damn near impossible. if it weren't for the fact that i actually like having a savings account i'd quite now.

the whole point of this darned blog was to point out that i was reading a Dolce's blog - she is going through something similar with her job. her friend gave her some good words of advice 'i'm way better than the stress i put myself under working here'. so true. so true.

so with that i'm attempting to exhale. attempting to relax and rejoice in the fact that i have a three day weekend. enjoy the fact that i have the worlds greatest fiance, a great family, terrific friends, wonderful in-laws to be (who all still manage to like me despite the crap i spew out in this blog and language i use in doing so...)

exhale.......

seriously....

the one day i actually get myself out of bed early to exercise...the one day where i actually need to shower becuase i'm all sweaty.....NO HOT WATER! not even luke-warm! ICE COLD!

i'm just now regaining feeling in my fingers after washing my hair in the freakin' sink (and still not managing to get all the shampoo out!)

as soon as that apartment office opens.......argh! i know in the grand scheme of things it's not a big deal but seriously..the one day i get up and exercise and i can't even shower.......

and now i'm off to a job i loathe......Happy Thursday!

a first (among many to come i'm sure...)

chris and i just got back from a little trip to Target (oh who am i kidding - no trip to Target is ever little) and it was there that i bought my first 3 bridal magazines. a martha stewart one, a knot one for minnesota and another minnesota bride one. i can't wait to look at them tomorrow - hopefully they'll keep my spirits up at work - and get some good ideas :)

and now for my inner squeal of delight.......


EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

Ladies and Gents...Boys and Girls....

...i would like to take this opportunity to introduce to you my........

Fiance!!!!

(how do you do the little accent marks...)

that's right - we're ENGAGED!!! he actually proposed on April 21st (kelly's wedding anniversary) but we wanted to tell our parents and people we wanted to have in the wedding party in person...and well...this past weekend we accomplished that so now I can shout it out all i want! :)

I'M GETTING MARRIED!!!

i'll post more details and pictures as the days pass but for now i'll stick with the proposal. in case you didn't know...i talked about getting married....a lot. i didn't mean to persay but once i started it just never stopped. i tried too - fearing that i would scare him away - but nope - just kept right on yacking....sigh....

i asked him many times if it bothered him that i talked about it so much and he always insisted that it did not. one of the things i made clear in all of my babbling was the fact that i did not want a diamond engagement ring - or any engagement ring for that matter. i did say that if we happened to find a cute little nonsense ring that struck our fancy it'd be fun to have that - but nothing fancy. so one day we were out putzing around and i saw this little plastic red rose ring - i loved it! i told him that i'd wear that as an engagement ring - he bought it! this of course excited me to no end as i now knew that a proposal had to be coming - and two days later it did!

we both knew that the proposal wouldn't be a huge suprise (me and my big mouth garaunteed that!) so we were just hanging out on the couch and he causally asks if i'd like to marry him. thinking that he was just teasing (cause it's happened before...) i said yes in a mocking sort of way. then he took my hands and looked me right in the eye and said 'no, i'm serious - will you marry me?' at this point i'm confused and wondering how far he'll take this cruel little tease. i then realize he's not kidding and start to cry. it took me awhile to actually say 'yes' as i kept asking him if he was sure..sure that all my babbling didn't pressure him. etc. etc. etc. he was sure :)

unfortunately none of the pictures we took that night really turned out. i was crying and ended up looking like ass - while he looked adorable as usual :) so the above are the most showable - the rest will remain on my computer for private viewing only :) below is a picture of the ring i took while out on a walk a week later - the same day we went to the Festival of Nations - which is where the first picture came from :)

WE'RE GETTING MARRIED!!!!

ack....

for some reason blogger is saying that my last post 'low high level' published but when i go to view my blog it doesn't exist unless you click on 'may' in the sidebar. so...if it's not showing for you than try clicking there.....


wierd. perhaps it's just a small hiccup.

low to high to level......

oh dear god how i love this cartoon...i mean love it.


as you might have guessed it's been 'one of those days' - no...no...one of those weeks!
if you read my blog you may have gathered that i don't have my dream job. i tried to find the blog where i described what i actually do and can't find it (perhaps due to the fact that i have eight million four hundred sixty five thousand labels....must work on that...along with the other eight million four hundred sixty four thousand things i should work on...). since i can't find it i'll do a recap for those of you not familiar....


there are two parts to the place i work. separate companies under the same umbrella logo. the receptionist position i now occupy was once under the control of Part A. Part A said 'we don't need this anymore' and eliminated it. Part B said 'well we can't just have people wandering in off the streets! we'll fill it.'
enter me.
i was basically hired to make sure people didn't wander in who didn't belong. problem was - a lot of people came in and all of those people had questions about Part A. since i don't work for Part A i had no clue how to answer their questions and looked like a dumbass. (update: i just - as in the past month - got a list of people i'm supposed to direct these Part A seekers too - problem is Part A recently had layoffs and so the list is now out of date. it will probably be a year before i receive an updated copy).
after a few weeks of reading books (for my pleasure - not work related) i got my first task. birthday cards! since that time i've been given other important and vital tasks like folding t-shirts. tying ribbon** and stuffing thousands of envelopes. i also have a shitload of 'me-time' to reflect on all the hard work i put into college. all that money that was spent. all so that i could have a job where they would prefer you have a GED. prefer - but not required. (this was stated in the job description i got two months ago....)
oh - forgot to mention the fact that there is a guard in the building. he used to leave shortly after i arrived at work and would arrive again when i left for the day. due a number of complications and fuck-ups that i don't have time to and don't care to elaborate on - Part A screwed a whole lot of stuff up and due to that the guard is now sitting in my tiny work area with me all frackin' day. two feet behind me. granted - the morning guard i like. he's cool. the afternoon guards....oh god. one was so large that there is no way in hell he could have 'secured' anything. he had trouble walking! (nevermind the fact that i don't think he bathed). granted he was only there one day but this is the kind of stuff i might get stuck with. starting monday i'm going to be sitting with some new mystery guard i have yet to meet. so help me god - if he's anything like fat man i will run away screaming and never come back...(you may think i'm joking - i'm not.)


so yes - as you can see the one small purpose of my job - stopping wanderers has now been rendered pointless seeing as how i have a guard breathing down my neck. i use absolutely no brain power at my job and as much as i thought i liked it or even tolerated it - i'm losing my fucking mind. these past two weeks - since the guard has been posted there all day - have been so extremely stressful. at first i thought i might get laid off - hello - who would not recognize the fact that i do nothing. you pay me to do nothing. can we say 'waste of money?'
ah but no. rather than let me go let's give me more pointless tasks. Re-enter ** - the ribbons. I was given the task of tying ribbon onto 72 books. i was then supposed to curl the ribbon into a cute bow. it looked nice - fine whatever. then i had to put them back into the box they came in. so i spent time tying and curling ribbon so they can get smashed flat and look like crap. seriously - they look like ass and they're giving them away to people. i mentioned that maybe we should try a different ribbon - that wouldn't curl and get smashed. but no - they want to get rid of all the curly ribbon and don't care it smashes. awesome - so basically you're telling what a waste of time my task is. great. fantastic. super!


ACK! Sorry - what i meant to be a short blog has turned into a monstrous rant but jesus lord almighty heaven hell and gumdrops - i'm losing my mind! i'm trying to find another job but you it's so hard to do that when you have a job already. no time to take off to interview. wtf!


so...that is why i was so stressed coming into work today that my hands were shaking. i hated being there that much. ugh.


but....lunch came along and my mood improved. for two reasons. one of them i'm keeping secret for now. the other...well...the other....is......(see below)

for those of you who do not recognize this band - it's The Raconteurs. jack white is in that band. for those of you who don't know - i love jack white. love him. i could go on but we don't need another ramble. the short and sweet of it is that they will be playing a concert here coming up in august. i cannot tell you how extremely happy this made me! not to mention that i just looked it up on a whim and found out tickets go on sale monday morning! can we say perfect timing? i so needed this and it turned to rest of my day - ribbon tying and all - into a smiling non-hand-shaking happy day.

so there ya go. started out on an extreme low. moved to a high. now i'm level. neither good nor bad. steady as she goes.....

that last bit was a raconteurs bit...you should really check them out!

stupid *%$#@&.....

today i worked on being calm. not getting all pissed off at the hordes of moronic people that i encounter. it was going pretty gosh darn good. i even began to exercise! i got one round on the treadmill complete and ran upstairs to throw the clothes from the washer into the dryer. i realized that i had left my card in the machine but was relieved to see it was still there. i hauled the clothes to the dryer and stuck my card in. ERR. what? stuck it in again. ERR. wtf? seriously...chris just put money on it this morning. ERR. perhaps leaving in the machine fucked it up. or perhaps the person who started their laundry after switched cards - the one i have now doesn't look like our old one...but i could be wrong. i'm going with the latter version of events since i'm cynical and would rather blame someone else for having an entire basket full of wet clothes and absolutely no place to hang them that isn't covered in cat hair.

p.s. i asked two people that i encountered in the hallway if i could borrow their card for a load and give them money tomorrow. they said that don't use the machines here. bullshit. so i suppose it's just me. oh - and that lady who decides to do eight hundred loads of laundry in one night. or the lady who finds it necessary to take one item (i shit you not..including one sock) shake it out - walk it over the dryer and put it in. she repeats this process for every single article in her washer - not caring that you're standing there waiting for the machine....

soundtracks...

for some reason i decided to listen to 'the last kiss' soundtrack today. haven't listened to it in a really long time. there was a period - during late summer and early fall of 2006 when i listened to it a lot. listening to it tonight brought me back to that time in my life and everything that was going on. i then proceeded to sit and read through a bunch of e-mails from that time period. i had intended to come home and clean as i am hosting a book club meeting this saturday and my apartment is in no way ready to have guests...but alas i find myself sitting in front of the computer...it's 9:49pm...i'm still listening to the soundtrack and have yet to start cleaning.

Sunshine?

sunshine has been lacking here in the northland. the beginning of may came with lots of grey skies and rain mixed with snow. oh joy! sunday finally brought the sun out and along with it chris and i.