bummed

today i am bummed.

and to be honest i was kinda bummed yesterday as well.

i am currently bummed about the interview that i went on this morning. it was for a temp agency. they make you take those assessment tests. i did horribly on the spelling and grammar and i don't know why! (part of that could be due to the fact that i just spelled 'grammar' 'grammer' and had to fix it) i felt like a complete dumbass. spelling and grammar have never been my strong point but i'm not horrible. thank god for spelling/grammar check - you know that program that comes on every computer out there? maybe they thought i would be too dumb to use this feature. or use a dictionary. who knows.

i am also bummed about how the whole situation was treated. when i sat down for the interview portion she just had this look of pity about her. 'oh - what a shame. such a nice girl but so dumb.' her attitude/facial expressions/and tone of voice just left me feeling like i wanted to cry. i'm NOT dumb. then i got bummed about the fact that i let myself feel bummed about what she thought of me. she had a completely fake air about her and had I not been so bummed i probably would have thrown-up in my mouth a little just watching/listening to her. sigh.

either way they had nothing for me. which in a way is fine - i didn't want to drive all the way to the western side of the city for a job everyday anyhow. and they seemed to only specialize in temp work - not the temp to hire i was looking for anyhow. so there. poo.

speaking of poo. i feel like poo. i look like poo. you may remember - long before i began to blog here - that i lost some weight this past summer. 17.5 pounds to be exact. 38 inches too. it took me about 2.5 months. i looked and felt great! then i slacked off. since i moved i've slacked even more. i'm gaining weight and inches and just feel like poop. chris is in a similar situation (although i still can't see where he's gained any). we did that bmi -piece of crap - and are both overweight. according to that bmi i could lose up to 43 pounds! i can't imagine what i'd look like! and i really don't want to know - that's a lot of weight. i do want to get fit again. i want to loose this 'happy fat.' (as chris and i are terming it - although there is really nothing happy about it) i keep meaning to do it everyday but just end up sitting around and reading. not having a job is draining in a depressing way. you have all the time in the world but end up doing nothing with it....maybe i'm just extremely lazy...

anywhoo - dear god - why did I just say that?

so that is why i am bummed. i am a dumbass and i look and feel like poo. hopefully things perk up soon.


**it has been hours since i posted this blog. i went back to read it over and realized i said 'i currently bummed' and 'it for' - and i wonder why i sucked at the grammer....oops...grammar (that was on purpose)