Saturday, November 10, 2007
when does one feel "settled"?
today i went to carrie's baby shower. it was really fun - second baby shower i've ever been to! her friends did a lovely job of decorating and making everything adorable. the food was excellent as well and the conversation was good.
what does this have to do with feeling "settled" you ask? i'm not quite sure.....
even though i had such a great time i left the shower feeling slightly off. reflective perhaps. in a zone. do you know what i mean? chris picked up on it right away when i got home - saying that women always seem to act that way after being in a large group together. it's not always a bad 'off' just off. reflective....
the shower was at carrie's friend laurie's home - it was beautiful. but it was a home. a house. she was married with a child and another on the way. everything seemed so well put together. a place for everything and everything in it's place.
there were also a few babies there. all very cute and adorable! little blankets. little clothes. and well - it was a baby shower after all - all the baby stuff! there were 2 people - including me - that did not have or were not in the process of having babies. it made for the guessing the price of certain baby items (ala The Price is Right) rather difficult (ah yes! i believe i just bought that feeding set last week...now how much did that cost?) but it was still fun.
i don't know where i'm going with all this really. like i said i'm off...reflective and just trying to understand why - or be able to get it out in a coherent way - ya know? if only i could write like molly...
i am extremely happy where i'm at - i don't mean to convey otherwise. i just don't feel "settled"
i know that having a home doesn't make that go away. having a baby doesn't do it either. in fact i'm sure they can do the exact opposite. i just wonder sometimes if i'm letting days slip by without notice waiting for that "settled" feeling to happen. waiting. like "settled" will just one day knock at my door and say 'Here I am!'
perhaps i'm just feelings a tinge of jealousy for the home owners. the mothers. the mothers-to-be. the married women. the "settled" life.
do you feel "settled"?