Thursday, January 10, 2008

Bone Broke

as you may have gathered from the previous post i am not in the best of moods. i'm extremely frustrated.

frustrated because....

- i did what i was supposed to, right? i went to college. i earned a degree. i got a full time job with benefits. but after all my bills are payed each month i have basically nothing left over for food or gas.

- i haven't been able to help chris out with the rent. it makes me feel awful. i feel like a huge mooch.

- banks charge me $68.00 dollars for a measly $10.00 'oops adventure' into the negative.

- i just realized that i pay almost a hundred dollars in interest per car payment. wtf??

- i have to start a 401k and an IRA - but with what exactly i'm not sure....

- my paychecks are basically gone the day i get them.

- my mouth is falling apart and insurance will only cover half the costs. granted it's half and i'm thankful but i cannot afford the other half.

- my phone is dying. i need a new one. too bad my money tree died.

it's just so damn irritating. and the whole crap of it is is that i was just coming to terms with it. fine. i'll have debt. at least i'm happy. i have a great family and friends and with them i'll never end up homeless. but this whole taking almost seventy fucking dollars out of my account just pushed me over. i needed that to pay bills. needed it.

i have a car payment each month. i have insurance on that car. i have my own insurance. i have a credit card payment (which i had to get in the first place becuase i couldn't afford to pay my car insurance while i was looking for a job). i have a computer payment. and yes - after this i have about $30 left over. $30 to buy gas, groceries, and oh yeah - start that 401K and IRA with. seriously....

how the crap am i ever going to be able to afford a house. a wedding. a baby. - hell - food. gas.

i need to make more money. i need to look for a job that pays more money. but oh yeah - can't fit into the my interview clothes yet! and oh yeah - can't buy more interviews clothes that fit becuase i'm fucking broke.

piss it.


carrster said...

oh god, I've soooo beeen there (actually revisiting since calculating the cost of FORMULA. ugh). As hard as it is, think about the good things, the little things in life that make it good & happy; dream the big dreams ("Repeat Boutique & Tea Spot" remember???), be your generous, wonderful, caring, loving self and in the end the universe will help you out. Sounds corny, but it's true. I've been there and I'm serious.

Meanwhile, I'm hoping that Steve & I win the lottery because this whole money thing is enough to drive me batty!

michelle said...

Thanks :) And I will (think about the good things and dream the big dreams) You do the same :)

Someday when we're in our 80's will sit back and drink some of your margaritas and talk about these good old days :)

i miss you :)